


Something Big

by ThomE_Gemcity_06



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Closeted Cylon, Comfort, Drama, Final Five - Freeform, Friendship, Gen, Revelations, emotional angst, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 02:31:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8232989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThomE_Gemcity_06/pseuds/ThomE_Gemcity_06
Summary: Sharon gets an inkling, and Sam reveals a big secret.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set in season 4. Includes spoilers + 2 minor swears. Not M/F, but completely Friendship. Emotional!Sam & Intuitional!Sharon(Athena)

One morning, Sharon woke up and knew that something momentous had occurred. She didn't know what that something was, all she knew was that it had happened. It was like the hairs on the back her neck stood on end, and when she looked over her shoulder, whatever had been there had turned the corner before she could spot it. She didn't think it was something bad, just Something Big. And it was this Something Big, that was going to change things for all. She could feel it in her stomach, under her skin, a tingle on her lips, even.

It had been several days, and the feeling was still with her, this Something Big. But she never voiced her feelings to anyone. Not Helo. Or the Admiral. Or Hera, who she often used as a sound-board when Helo wasn't around. Or even Sam, who she knew would listen and not judge her about this ‘Cylon’ feeling—because she knew that was what this was. 

So as she ate algae for lunch, one of her three square meals, in the (near empty) Pilot Wreck Room, lost in this Something Big feeling, she was startled when Sam sat across from her at the table; his own tray loaded with the green mash.

"Hey," he said, slouching back in his chair, clad in his tanks, he gazed into the green blob as he picked at it, but did not eat, in a vacant way.

"Hey," Sharon replied softly after finishing a small bite of her algae.

He said nothing further, and she watched him as she slowly ate. She knew that things had been rough for him when Starbuck had died, and then two months later turned up again. But something else had happened, something that she couldn't place. There was dark rings around his eyes from serious lack of sleep. But that was nothing new, either, half the crew was in that state. No, it was his eyes.

Her previous thoughts were pushed from her mind as she looked at his eyes. They were missing their previous spark. The spirit of strength and will that they possessed. The humour and depth of emotion that drew you in. It was all gone, from his eyes, and his body.

She cocked her head ever so slightly as she continued to study her friend. After what seemed a very long time, he must have finally felt her heavy gaze, and dragged his dull eyes from his tray and to her.

"W-what?" he murmured nervously, his eyes not able to stay in one spot of her face for very long.

She set her fork down, and laid her elbows on the edge of the table. "Nothing," she said, but continued to look at him. "Have you been getting enough sleep?"

"S-sure, as much as anyone." He told her, finally putting a portion of algae in him mouth and deliberately chewing slowly as to stall the conversation that he knew was coming, despite the fact that you didn't really have to chew, it was like baby food.

He had her there. She needed to get him comfortable, to let his guard down and let her in. "I haven't seen you in a while, Sam—you didn't find a new Cylon to replace me, have you?"

Sam visibly tensed as he heard this. "W-what are you talking about?" He scoffed, quickly filling his mouth with more algae as he pushed himself into a forced relax.

Sharon's eyebrow cocked as she saw his reaction. What was up with that? She had been only joking, but it looked like he thought she was serious. Was there another Cylon? There couldn't be. The only two aboard the _Galactica_ were her and Caprica-Six, who was being held in the special prison that had been her own for many, many months. And she knew for a fact that Sam hadn't set foot near the other Cylon —ever—the only time those two had encountered each other was on Caprica; he'd told her about his meeting with the Six, Boomer, and a D'Anna, in the blown parking structure—and that was it. So why had he reacted so severely?

"I was only joking," Sharon told him. "Even machines can joke." She was going for a record here, never— _never_ did she joke about the sore fact that she was a Cylon— **never**. She realized that this was a last resort kind of thing, when stuck, fall back on humour. It didn't seem to be working though, because she saw the way his  biceps went taunt.

"Ha-ha, I get it." He replied, but there wasn't even a hint of humour in his voice.

"Sam..."

"Sharon, how's Hera doing?"

"Great," Sharon couldn't help but smile fondly at the thought of her daughter, despite the fact that she knew Sam was trying to change the subject. "She actually started walking not too long ago."

"Really?" Finally there was a trace of a smile on his lips as he thought of his friends' daughter.

"Yeah," Sharon nodded. "It's actually exciting, but it scares me to death." She admitted, it was something that she hadn't even confided with Helo.

"What? Why?" Sam looked at her intently for a moment, some of that old spark coming back into his eyes.

"Well, it's just—with the ways things are now, you know?" She started, and before she knew it, she found herself going deeper into this hidden fear. "We're closing in on Earth, and the Cylons are closing in on us. And with _Galactica_ being so busy, and the Son of Aries group that's cropped up —it's a dangerous place for a two-year-old, you know? And now that she'd walking, she's gonna get into stuff. She's going to be getting into stuff that she hadn't before, and I'm afraid that what if she somehow get's a hold of a gun? Gods, Sam! What if she wanders while there's an attack, with all the chaos, no one might not notice that she missing, and with Helo and I at our stations—Gods forbid she gets trampled." She stopped herself from going even further, and stopped wringing her hands, and laid them on the table top as she avoided his gaze. Here she was, talking about herself, when her intention had been to get Sam to do just that. "I-I know that it's stupid," she said quietly after a moment.

"No, Athena. Gods, I hadn't even thought of half that stuff myself. You're a great mother, and Helo's a great dad. And Hera's an awesome kid. You're doing fine, and _she's_ gonna be fine." Sam expressed  intensely, reaching across the table and giving one of her curled fists a squeeze without thinking, just reacting.

At his touch she was startled, and looked at him. Not because it was unheard of that Sam touched her, but the feeling deep inside her that it caused. In her gut, under her skin, a tingle in her lips, even.

Seeing her reaction, Sam quickly pulled his hand back. He hadn't meant to touch her. It wasn't that he thought she was disgusting or something, but ever since the switch had been flipped in his head, he was afraid to be around Sharon because he feared that she might realize that he wasn't Human that they both thought he was, but a Cylon—one of the Final Five. Did she know now? Had she felt it inside of him, the fact that he was a machine? That he was a lie? But he only saw confusion in her brown eyes.

"Sam? Are you okay?" She asked.

"Fine," he told her, but knowing he didn't sound convincing in the least. He hadn't been okay for a while. He tried to be as confident as Colonel Tigh was, that he may be a Cylon, but he was— _is_ — Samuel T. Anders—that was _who_ he was, no matter what his biology was (or his  mechanics). But by finally knowing the truth about himself, the real truth, he felt that he betrayed all those that he loved, and who trusted him. He couldn't sleep, could barely eat, he'd been avoiding Sharon, and only talking with the other three, and the rest of the time he was stuck in a rollercoaster of turmoil.

Sharon didn't look convinced. And she was back onto that Something Big. This feeling in her pathways at Sam's touch. Before he could retreat further, and actually left the table and her altogether, she grabbed his hand.

"Hey!" He tried to pull from her grasp, but she held tight, using her superior strength.

"Come with me," she said, standing and pulling him up after her, and dragging him from the Wreck Room, leaving their half finished algae and drawing a few stares. Of course, what she had yet to realized was that Sam had strength equal to her own, but was too panicked to realize this as well. She pulled him into a empty compartment and finally letting go of him as she sealed the hatch. And what Sam realized and she did not know, was that this was the same compartment that he met up with Tigh, Tyrol, and Tory.

"Sharon, what are you—" Sam started towards that hatch, but she blocked him.

Sharon looked at him with great worry, he was acting like a cornered animal almost. "Sam, I'm worried about you!"

This stopped him, and he looked at her guiltily. She had enough things on her plate, she didn't need his shit heaped on top. He had to find a way to placate her worry, without giving up the fact that he was a Cylon; the four of them had agreed that if anyone ever found out—even Sharon—it would spell trouble for all of them. It was their big dirty secret—there was nothing little about it.

"Sharon..." He sighed and she waited eagerly for him to speak. "Gods," he ran his hand through his short hair and found himself pacing in front of the smaller woman. "It's been rough," he admitted. "Sometimes, with Kara, and finding Earth and all this other nonsense—Sometimes I think it was easier back on Caprica. Things were simpler—survival at its purest form."

Sharon looked at her friend with sympathy. "I know what you mean," she said.

Sam stopped pacing and looked at her. He guessed that she would. He actually felt a little better after getting that off his chest even if it wasn't the real truth of the matter. He just needed to get out of here. And he thought that she'd let him go now, but he couldn't have been more wrong.

She took a stepped towards him, and he took a nervous one back, as she looked at him intensely. "Sam, I know—"

"K-know what?" He fidgeted in fear.

"I know that's not the real reason why you're so preoccupied." She finished.

Sam could have sworn that his heart had stopped. He stopped himself from blurting that he wasn't a Cylon! but just barely, and instead waited for her to complete the thought before coming to his own conclusions and digging himself a hole.

"A few days ago," she started, and this time, it was her turn to pace in front of him. Sam tensed. "I woke up and I knew—I felt—that something momentous happened. I don't know what it is, but it's Something Big." _She knows_ , he thought, that was the only place this was going. The Something Big that happened a few days ago, was that he realized he was a Cylon! "Something Big, but not bad. I just can't put my finger on it. But then while we were eating, something happened." She stopped suddenly, and faced him.

"What happened?" he couldn't stop himself from asking, drawn into her words.

"You." She said plainly. "When you touched my hand, I felt that Something Big." And she grabbed his hand again, with both of hers and held on tight, locking her eyes with him. "You've been avoiding me, why?" She wondered out loud, just now seeming to realize it. He just swallowed nervously and didn't answer, unable to tear his gaze from hers. "Sam, you're my friend. You know that you can tell me anything, I'd never judge you or tell your secret. I care about you, I'm worried. I want to help. You're carrying something heavy, it might help to tell somebody." And yes, indeed, she could feel that Something Big inside of him as she continued to hold his hand. In her collarbones, and elbows, her fingers, knees and toes.

Sam was quiet for a long time as he lost himself in her eyes as she held onto his hand. Was he really considering telling her? The four of them had made a rule not to. Either to reveal the truth about themselves, or each other. But Sharon was his friend, his best-friend actually. They had become fast ones back on Caprica, when he was still Human and she was a Cylon. Despite everything he had been through with the Cylons and Centurions, all the death and destruction they had caused, when he met Sharon, he knew that he could trust her. And Actually, Helo had once told him how he had reacted when he first discovered that Sharon was in fact a Cylon, and Sam knew that he had accepted her faster. If she knew that truth about him, would she still call him a friend? Would she give him the chance that he had given her, despite her origin? Would she look at him differently? Would she deem him a threat to the Fleet, neutralize him, and report her discovery to the Admiral and President? He knew that it was just fear that coursed through his marrow, doubt. And as he realized this, he found his lips moving, his gaze never leaving hers.

"I'm a Cylon!"

Sharon blinked at him. "What?"

"I'm a frakking Cylon!" Sam repeated, his eyes sparkling with welling tears. "A few days ago, when the Fleet entered the Nebula, and there was the Blackout, it was like a switch flipped in my frakking head, Sharon. There was this song, but only I could hear it, and then I just knew!"

Her grip on his hand had tightened as he spoke, and he could feel the small bones in his hand grind together under the force. "A Cylon. You. I don't understand." She said dumbly. The pieces couldn't seem to click together in her mind. It was like she was grabbed by the ankles, turned upside-down, and shaken—a shake that didn't seem to stop.

Sam took a deep breath. She was in shock, he realized. Did he fry her brain circuits? What he knew of Cylons, and about himself, the Final Five—was that it was forbidden— _forbidden_ for the seven copies to even think about the Final Five, it was considered an act of blasphemy. So by telling her that he was one of the Five, did he damage her network pathways?

"Sharon?" he asked, and gripped one of her hands that was gripping his hand, with his free one, trying to anchor her to him. "Are you alright? You didn't break, did you?" he joked nervously.

Her eyes were glazed. Her mind was spinning out of control as she tried to sort her thoughts. How? How could he be a Cylon? One of the Five at that? Right under her nose this whole time. How could she not have known? This was big—the Something Big! She tried to think through this reasonably. She had been programmed not to think of the Final Five, something that was long believed to be a myth in the first place. Obviously she'd broken through her programming when she'd chosen to side with the Humans instead of the Cylons. So she was already damned. She could feel the pressure of his grip on her hand, drawing her out of her mind.

She looked down at their hands, each gripping the other's, like an anchor to each other, connecting them. The Something Big. Her gaze drew back up to his as he looked at her in fear and desperation. He looked like the same old Sam. She thought back to Caprica, how the only people who had treated her like a person instead of an it, was Helo and Sam—She married the former and was best-friend's with the latter.

She smiled softly at him, he tentatively returned the expression. Maybe the reason why she hadn't realized who he was, was because he had not truly known either. Cylon. He was a Cylon. One of the Final Five. For a moment, just a second, she wondered who the other Four were, but pushed the thought from her head. What did it matter? She knew that Sam had told her his big secret because he trusted her, and anyway, there was time enough for that. As she linked this new fact to Sam, she realized that was just what it was—a fact. Like his brown hair was a fact. Or his blue dusk eyes. Or that he had a great sense of humour. It didn't define him, like she had fought to let it not define her.

"This doesn't change anything," she finally told him, her voice firm, but soft as she squeezed his hands gently this time. "You understand that, don't you?"

"Yes," he breathed in relief as he looked down at her, seeing the truth in her eyes. "Being a Cylon does not define me, I am Samuel T. Anders."

"Welcome to the club, Sam."

"You have a club?" He asked, feeling more himself by the minute. The weight on his shoulders, his mind, his heart, was becoming lighter. Like the dark cloud that had trailed him was vanishing. Just telling someone really did make it better, it also didn't hurt that Sharon was his friend and a Cylon as well. Of course, it didn't solve everything, but it was a start. One that he had been searching for—for what felt like two thousand years.

"Sure." She smiled. "With complimentary toaster strudels."

"Anything but algae," he agreed.

"So I guess there really was a new Cylon in your life." She remarked.

"You could say that,"

Sharon let go of his hands, and pulled him into a tight hug. "Everything's going to be okay, Sam. We are all meant for something, and this is who you're meant to be."

Sam wrapped his arms around her, and hugged her back. "Gods, I hope you're right, Sharon."

"I know I am," she said confidently. And she was. She was a sure of this as she had been in anything in her life. Not quite Starbuck's destiny, but like his fate.

"I wish I had your confidence," Sam sighed as they finally pulled apart.

"It's just shock. I've always known what I was, but you're like Boomer," she saw his expression at this and said, "Almost."

He was able to dredge up a smile. "I guess, I mean being a Cylon can't be too bad, right?" This time, Sharon couldn't help the expression that crossed her features. "Right." He remembered all that she had been through just to be tolerated. But Sam didn't have the wealth of knowledge like she did, so what was it that he could offer Adama in order to stay out of a cell?

Sharon seemed to know what he was thinking. "It's not the same. You're one of the Final Five, Sam. It the Scriptures it says that the Five will lead the Twelve Colonies to Earth."

"But I don't know where Earth _is_!" He protested.

"Maybe it's like with the Nebula?" She shrugged her shoulders. "When we arrive somewhere you're supposed to be, a switch will go off, and you'll know."

"I don't think it's a good idea to reveal myself."

"That's not what I said." She admonished. "I think you'll know the right time for that as well."

Sam slowly nodded his head, finally starting to believe in his friend's advice. He believed that if anyone might know what they were talking about Cylons, it was her. She was more experienced with this sort of thing than he was, so he'd follow her advice—of course, telling the others that she knew was probably as bad thing. He seemed to have revealed one secret in order to hide another—at least this one seemed a lighter load on his conscious.

"You're a good friend, Athena." Sam told her earnestly, and she grinned up at him. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"I guess it's a good thing that we won't have to find out." She said. "Now, I think we should probably get out of here before the others think we're having a nooner."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Helo would kick my ass if he thought I was tailing after his wife." He poked her in the ribs playfully.

She laughed, slapping his hands away lightly. "He so would."

"What? You think he could take me?" Sam asked, sounding offended.

"He's three inches taller than you, and at least stone heavier."

"Yeah, but I have more muscle mass."

"Oh, do you?" She had a sly spark in her eyes.

"Don't act like you haven't noticed these Pythons!" Sam flexed, showing off.

"Is that what I'm seeing?" She said mildly.

Now Sam was offended. "Are you saying I'm fat?" he exclaimed as they left the compartment, ignoring the stares sent their way at the random comment, mocking her back.

Sharon couldn't help but burst out in laughter at his impression of a woman. _He was going to be fine_ , she thought. He was going to get through this. He'd already improved so much since the state he had been in in the Wreck Room. Cylon or not, he was still the same old Sam. And of course, she would always worry at the reaction of the crew when they found out the truth, but that was far into the future. 

They had to ride the waves of today in order to arrive at tomorrow, after all.

f

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first Battlestar Galactica fic, I hoped that I did the characters well, and that you review.  
> Sharon is my favourite character, and Sam after that. It's Athena that carries my favour though. I liked Boomer in the first season, but after that, she became a complete bitch, so I'm Athena all the way!


End file.
